Last time: Rahul strung Tina along, but only till he caught Anjali dancing.
Back at the convertible, Rohan is still waving his hand in front of his nose, which is wrinkled in disgust, and remarking on how "down-market" his surroundings are. Because it's always good to let everyone around you know that you think their neighborhood stinks! "Where's bhaiyya gone?" he wonders, and sets off to find out. Behind him, the same well-dressed little boys who were holding Pooja's hand mirror for her in the candy shop gather and place their arms akimbo, glaring at the red-hoodied intruder.
In the sweetmeats shop, Anjali's making faces and waving her hands over an invisible something or other, which reminds me of how Kajol talked about how she didn't know how to crack an egg in Fanaa and they had to get a hand double, of all things, when her character cooked. I learned how to crack an egg in 30 seconds when I was about ten years old, so I don't know what to think of her now, except that maybe they tried to let her make candy for this scene and her looks of disgust are actually springing from real-life disasters. Behind her, Rahul sidles through the door, making vague noises, and she yells over her shoulder, "The shop's closed for now. It'll open only at 10!"
"Okay," he says meekly, probably already regretting pursuing her into the shop, and turns to go. Before he can make it out, though, realization dawns on Anjali's face; she gasps and whispers, "Ashfaque miya." "Ji... main..." he fumbles. Turning, she squeals and claps her hands together. Because he's feeling dumb, and the best way to overcome that is to make those around you feel even dumber, Rahul claps his hands together and sarcastically echoes her squeal in a questioning tone. She waggles her eyebrows. He lifts his in inquiry while making SRK's patented, "Mm? Mm?" noises. (I'm gonna have to pay him a nickel every time I type it!)
Anjali says something like, "Aaj karte hoon," which the subtitles render "Let me say a couplet." That seems wrong, but I'll let it go, because she recites, "So what if the evil wishes harm... Nothing can happen!" Rahul's now seriously at sea, wondering if this girl is literally crazy when she's not dancing. "You... don't know?" he asks. Anjali's still got her arm lifted in approved style, but she's forgotten her next line. "What can happen. Oh, ha! The only will that triumphs is the will of the Lord. Wah wah wah wah," she gurgles, horribly, which would have been my cue to back away with caution, but Rahul's still got the image of the girl in the square imprinted over this bizarre reality, and he's more patient. "Oh, okay," he chuckles, discomfort evident on his face.
"Your turn!" she claps.
Out on the streets, Rohan's still being followed by the little boys. When he glances over his shoulder, they yell, "Eh, look up there!" so of course he does, but seeing nothing, proceeds right into Pooja's outstretched arm, accompanied by the (in)appropriate bouncing cartoon sound effect. "Eh, Laddoo," she sneers. "You can't enter Chandni Chowk." Um, because he already did? In the red convertible, don't tell me you missed it? Available for stealing, two blocks back!
"Why?" he squeaks. "Bas, nahiin hai saktai," she replies, or that's what it sounds like, which apparently translates to "Just..." in English! Who knew? She points her finger at him, adding, "And if you want to enter, you have to say this: Chandu ke chacha ne: Chandu ki chachi ko: Chandni Chowk mein: Chandni raat mein: Chaandi ke chamach se: Chatni chatayi! Go!"
In the shop, Rahul's decided Anjali's completely mad so he'll just go with it. "Exactly what am I supposed to say?" he asks, slowly, so she'll have time to understand because clearly she's challenged. "Never mind," she says, all bounce and puppy-intense. "You don't say. I'll say, c'mon. Just one! Just one!" "Yeah, if you insist. Okay," he shrugs.
Anjali takes a deep breath, and half-closes her eyes. "Love is not an easy path, understand ye all..." she melodramas. "Oh-kay," he breathes with trepidation. Anjali finishes, back of hand pressed to her forehead: "It's a trial by fire to be crossed bravely!" She offers her palm for him to high-five; Rahul cringes back from the sudden movement, then gingerly swipes his fingers across hers.
Meanwhile, Rohan's valiantly attempting the tongue-twister, but it's tripping him up, and all the Chandni Chowk kids lift their hands and laugh at him.
Now Anjali's giving more of Teh Crazy, from Rahul's point of view, and I'm not sure why he's staying unless it's to see if insanity gives him a way to set her up in a discreet flat in a convenient (for him) location, but stay he does. She blabbers on about how he's come to meet her and how he calls Rukhsar Daijaan so lovingly, and how he must have dandled on Anjali's knee to if he did on Daijaan's, and meanwhile he just keeps on nodding and giving her incredulous looks, but it's a certain kind of incredulous look, the one that the frat boys keep easily accessible for when people who are smarter than they make references they don't understand, and it's designed to make those people feel stupid for talking over the frat boys' heads. Why Rahul's directing this look to someone whom he actually believes to be nuts is beyond me, but he does, and maybe that's why I'm really not fond of him at all in the first half of the film.
Rohan's still stumbling over the tongue twister, but he takes a page from his tormentors' book and yells, "Look up there!" then runs away. "Catch him!" they yell, and give chase.
"When's the wedding?" Anjali snaps, draping herself on Rahul's shoulder. "Whose?" he stutters. "Yours and...[insert tongue click here] hers, of course," she chides. "How can I marry Daijaan?" he wants to know, shaking his head (probably to rid it of some tremendously weird images of SRK and Farida Jalaal circling a wedding fire together... I mean, not that I would picture that or anything). "Hayye, you have a great sense of humor!" she yells at him, even though he's only six inches away from her mouth. "And you're cute too!"
Rohan tears through the market, yelling "Bhaiyya, save me!"
"I'm going to tell Rukhsar that I liked her Ashfaque miya," Anjali says, smacking Rahul on the shoulder. "Excuse me," he says on a laugh, "Who's Ashfaque miya?" Anjali's never one to pick up 2 and put it together with 2, so she just gives him a look... Then yells, "You have a great sense of humor!" and smacks him again. He smacks her back on her shoulder. She smacks him again, a little harder, and he smacks her back again, a little harder, and she's only kind of laughing now and I'm hating him because really? That's the way you want to treat her, this girl you saw dancing out there and who's crazy or singularly unobservant but also harmless, you just want to hit her back enough to sting when she gives you a sisterly thwack? Good job, Majnu.
Rohan's desperately asking bystanders if they know where Sayeeda's house is.
"Do you know?" Anjali says, apropos of nothing, but then what about this conversation has been apropos of anything? Rahul agrees with me, because by now he's got the hang of letting her burble on while he tries to put the fragments together: "What do I know? You seem to know everything." "Yeah," she nods wisely. "Aunty--your would-be mother-in-law--Do you know where she works? Big businesses of the big people. Have you heard of the Raichands?" He's about to lose patience with this game. "Look, I--" "How could you have heard of them?" she charges on. Gee, I dunno, Anjali, maybe from that big newspaper article Daijaan was going on about this morning? The one you're telling him about right now? Just a thought.
Rahul's lost hope of having a meaningful exchange and now will settle for making fun of her while she remains oblivious. "Oooh, really?" he asks, big eyed. She makes a face. "Yeah, tip top! Have you seen it?" "No--" "Then come with me, I'll show you." She motions him back to her counter. "I don't read the newspapers," he cracks. "Here it is. Yashvardhan Raichand." She says, "A big snob." "Absolutely," Rahul agrees, shooting her a die, girl look from under those quirky brows, but of course Anjali remains completely unaware of anybody around her except as a receptacle for her never-ending stream of words.
"And here is his son. Hai Rabba, he looks exactly like you!" Little keyboard flourish in the incidental music as she turns to him, realization and horror simultaneously dawning. A few times I went to an African-American church and everything the pastor said was punctuated the same way. "Let me see," Rahul grunts, grabbing the paper. "Oh. Ashfaque miya," he coos, pointing to his own photo.
Anjali's cringing. "I'm a dead duck..." she moans between her teeth. "Not at all," he fake-soothes. "You have a great sense of humor--" smack "You have a great sense of humor--" smack on the shoulder again. "Heh heh heh," she chokes out as he does it a third time. She's rubbing her shoulder and trying not to cry when Rohan finally dashes up to the door, yelling about the "goons" who are after him, then runs away again.
"My lovely brother," Rahul shrugs, a little embarrassed at how lame Rohan clearly is. He's about to leave, Anjali sulking behind him, when he turns in the doorway. "Listen... You really do have a great sense of humor," he says, seriously this time. Her brows are furrowed into a "V," but she gives him a little chuckle out of courtesy. Girl, if he hit me that many times, I wouldn't be giving him any polite laughs. Just saying. Also, I hate you for looking SO AMAZING while you are also SO ANNOYING.
Rahul leaves. Anjali's left trying to exhale humiliation and not doing too well. A man walks up, salaams her, saying, "I'm Ashfaque!"
"And I'm the Queen of Jhansi!" she snaps, because it is all his fault for not showing up first.
Next up: Sing "Happy Birthday," then say "Shava Shava!"