Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham, Part 8

Previously: Anjali was on speed, and Rohan sped along.

We're in a massive ballroom, festooned with evergreen garlands and Christmas lights, with a gigantic chandelier (I wonder if Shweta added it to the list) in the center. Party guests mill around while Rani sashays to the front and center of a stage. Naina starts singing a breathy version of "Happy Birthday to You," and while it doesn't include any Monroe-esque posturing, it's still a little sexy for my tastes. She slowly walks forward to Yash, who's deep in conversation with that same man he embraced at Diwali. Naina counters this by raising her voice, "Happy BIRT'DAY, HAPPY BIRT'DAY," which is one more way we know Rani's not really singing it, because she never drops her th's unless it's in character. She wraps it up with a sassy little "do do do do do do;" Yash thanks her and gives her a hug.

Rahul, of course, can't let Naina be the center of attention for more than 20 seconds, so starts tapping on a champagne glass and saying excuse me. "Before I raise this toast to Papa," he begins, "I want to say something to all of you." He goes on by telling how he had a dream since he was a child to be like his Papa. Yes, don't all little boys want to grow up to be misogynistic tyrants wearing a thin cloak of beneficence? He wanted to do everything exactly like Yash, right down to the way he stands. I think he should also emulate Yash's traditional clothes, because, man, who wears a rock star jacket with leather trim--zipped all the way to the neck--to an evening birthday party? No one but Manish Malhotra and Karan Johar's dress-up doll, that's who.